Tuesday, September 17, 2013

Eyes that smile



“I peek up at his features, at the crooked grin I want to savor, at the color of his eyes I’d use to paint a million pictures”
                    -    Tahereh Mafi, Shatter Me
Lights...how fascinating they are. The first morning rays of the sun, the aura of the night sky, the starry delights, the million fireflies...nature’s mystery. Then you have the dying street lights, the bright head lights of motor lives, the yonder tube lights and halogen bulbs...the human mastery. Nevertheless one light that made my life once again bright was somebody’s eyes’ light. Eyes are one of the most expressive and evading senses one can have. Those eyes are unforgettable, because for the first time somebody’s eyes created no discomfort, no longing...rather born was a freedom. A freedom inexplicably true and felt, a healing process started within her that moment. His eyes were small, sunken inside the sockets of weariness, but it was endless and boundless. Eyes speak, they speak a lot especially when silence is called in for game. She saw a million stars descending down into her life bringing to her a starry night in the broad daylight when he looked at her. She searched in the color of his eye’s light a million colors she could lay her hands on to paint the best pictures of a better tomorrow. The colours painted her childhood memories all with bright blue, violets and red. She that day did liberate herself from a bondage of past, for his eyes spoke of peace, courage, perseverance and compassion, even before all waited to unleash its true spirits to light up lives. Slowly his eyes spoke to her heart, kept her agony all apart. Out in the hills, they could hear her voice inside out, the dog’s wail and the elderly woman’s tale. Never did he have a dodging look nor a piercing gaze... he did have a smiling eye that rendered free her soul. She felt that moment a rush of thoughts of pleasure and pain, of the journey from childhood to adolescence. Those eyes were to become a friend of her life forever even in the absence of the beholder. She knew that day all she wanted was more of starry nights and less of city lights, more of rich smiles to scatter, to those whose dreams are shattered, to smile more through her eyes even when lips can’t design curves...His eyes became a friend of her life through which she would paint a million pictures of a better tomorrow...

Monday, December 3, 2012

Scarred Memoirs! From the pages of life......

The seas of turpitude is all but around me-You
Hail in glory when all is green
And agony passes by all unseen
When all swam with the current to safe aboard-You
Departed with deep disdain at the first call of raising Cain
My neck deep in water;bearing the yoke of pain
Frozen waters but took me to yonder shore-You
Care?my breath did not yet meet its last mark
For I live today with all the glory spark
Memoirs of abuse hold on me like never before-You
Bet they never bow me down to murky spaces
Love, smiles and trust make comfy embraces
Things are now fine and gay-You
Still hold to my brain and cast a clout
But now I would fight;there's no doubt
With all my might, for it is my right!

Friday, June 15, 2012

12 years of togetherness

12 years of falling in love with someone special...someone I love with no bounds, yet someone whom many might be loving even more, someone wild and calm in spirit at the same time...I can feel the touch but not become one with spirit, someone who kisses like pecks of a bird, yet makes me bereaved...
From Kerala to Hyderabad that someone has been with me, giving me surprises and boredom, passion and reluctance, power and learned helplessness...I have woken up to see him just a few yards away and sometimes too near to resist, at times with reluctance and disappearing in a moment and at times lingering for long.
Near the peacock lake, in a joyous solitude, my love came with a bundle of surprises of glistening stones of white. In pain, when I walked about the terrace of my hostel past midnight, in the languid moments of experiencing futility...I remember the power...all the strength bestowed on me. And the day it was all brown and dirty outside me...hmm...inside me...I loved the way my love washed me with divinity...
The day I was torn apart and I was broken in spirits, the day I felt my life has no purpose, a life where futility marks the day, whence I thought I do not want to see a road ahead...my love was with me, listened to me and cried for me.  In all odds still my love thrived, saw pain and suffering around, yet did not take a step back..for that was the way to live...that gave me a purpose...a new leash of life...I was reborn that day...
At the tender touch of my love, I ran in mirth and madness on the open dias...my soul was free...as the love grew powerfull...I drained in the love showered on me and then when all of it came to a stop...gave me memories to cherish for a lifetime.
As memories bring back to my yard...the trees...the magnificent and roaring sea, the grotto of godly presence, the mighty coralwood, the colourful bougainvilleas...the corridors of my school...the chirpy school friends, the lovable teachers...I remember the day at school...the second last bench on which I sat and lost in the sight of my beloved...yearning to just leave the boring physics class and go on adventure with him...and lo...my class teacher in loud voice called out my name...
Neethu! Where are you looking at...what is there for you to look at? I wanted to say the truth... “my love; my rain”...ummm....I hesitated and became dumb for moments together... and she said keep standing in the class the whole period...

Sunday, February 19, 2012

Torn apart yet again...

With dried tears around my cheeks and a heavy heart,
I lay there on bed, a vacuum within me and eyes fixed on ceiling.
Then again crawling limbs like spiders mounted on me,
Darkness lingered on for long...
A tempest followed and then silence again,
...there was no pain and dejection,
It'as not 'me', but my body being ripped apart.
For I was but soaring high to the yonder skies,
Tracing trails on paths untread,to reach my mother's arms,
To be held against her bosom, to feel the warmth of her presence.
A smile on her face;she embraced me...
I lay there against her and the tempest calmed down,
But all whence the cloud of darkness swept away,
The crawling limbs was no more heavy on me,
I lost sight of my mother, I was bereaved of her presence of sudden,
But then in no time it occurred to me she was no more with me,
I was but seven when she left me.
In silence I waited for those stains of blood to dry off yet again...

Thursday, September 8, 2011

A vacuum within me...

A vacuum exists in the deepest trenches of my mind,
The best of my thoughts are born here,
The worst of my worries are bred here,
Nevertheless a ray of hope of undying optimism,
Shakes me from a futile slumber,
To tell me let empty spaces linger on,
But never to sink in those trenches of revulsion...

To the one...

To the one who stood by me,
To the one who but lost track of self,
To the one who gave me:
A world of books, love and dejection,
Reveries of rapid tears and tingling laughter,
Refined thoughts and measured words,
Calm composition and untold hope...
I but now halt and share a thought,
I remember thee for all done and left unsaid,
In honest joys and distress tears..

July

Sour moments are but what you started off with,
In the rain and sunshine you bonded with me,
When my wall friend was all then I had.
You smiled at me with a wink in your eye,
 Hugged me with an undying reassurance,
 To soothe my low lying spirits.
When rains bid a goodbye,
Memories of loved ones was but very strong,
You enlivened me by giving me hope of sunshine; a new day to come.
I hear those lucid whispers always,
No darkness can be timeless,
No pain can be endless...
What shall I give back for all the love and hugs,
What shall I give back for all the hope and reassurance,
Oh...my dear...JULY.