New direction

Its afternoon...a really hot afternoon...i feel like giving new direction to this blog as i do not want it to die...at least the very thought of writing something has enlivened my life always...its not a platform for solace rather a platform for expression and reflection. One thing i learned in my university life is, the more concern you show to someone or help is extended, the reaction to your action is but sheer dejection or maximum interference in your academic and personal life so as to render it troublesome. Call it envy or the like it does not matter...3 years of university life one tends to change pre-conceived notions about human beings...my seniors told so...i thought i can handle it...but its difficult...im trying still...the biggest hurdle in the way is my basic character...i tend to go out and help the very troublemakers again the  next time they ask me for help or assistance with no second thoughts...my friends say its bad...i should realise selfishness and incorporate the same...true every human being consciously or unconsciously is selfish and is a hypocrite but some things are so engraved in one's character that it is difficult to change...but i believe in something my dad used to say...u do not lose anything by helping others, keep helping for it gives you inner bliss...yes...it gives me inner bliss...but like any human being i think why it is so...people who stay with u who move close with you out of nowhere(that is my way of expressing though its a systematic process for them) behave the same way people who are totally strangers...its but human i think. i dont blame anyone. Why trouble others when they do not interfere in your personal or academic life...why so much of ungratefulness(I know reality but this question troubles me a lot so i ask it even when i know answer can never be in the affirmative)....materialism rules...questions are left unanswered...
                      Hey...all the while i forgot abt something and that is about me...im what im this is a tshirt wording...no i dont want to describe me like that...I am an unique individual like any other individual is...i tend less to identify myself as belonging to a gender and more as to belonging to the female sex of the homo sapiens. I am a student researcher and this is my fourth year in hyderabad. I have been blessed with ability to walk,talk,hear etc...at least for now...cant say forever...its all unpredictable u know...i have a very lovely sis...she is the best part of my life...this when i write i think i cried and felt sad for not getting something or someone...but was it necessary...when i didnt have much to lose...all when i came to this earth i came alone and i leave the same way...lemme think for today and follow up again tomorrow and write...

My tears

Embraced me at all times,
Weakening and strengthening me in endeavours,
Colouring my emotions with transparent delight,
You follow me from the moment born.

When adversity claims my way,
You  soothed my worries for i but just pour out.
When joys coloured my path,
You cherished them by making me feel good inside.

In moments of madness and dejection,
You made me feel light and renewed my spirits.
In thick and thin, in all seasons of life too short,
You made me know the value of your existence.

I shed you for none and everyone,
I eggoned you whence you're not willing.
In pain and grief i embraced you more,
For i was but a selfish human.

But all my life when i missed to see your value,
I look back at the folly i have done.
Then i think never to lose you for everyone,
For you should come when your value is all done.